We are born with this natural instinct and urge to have friends and hang out. Since I was very little, my mum would take me to play grounds and let me go ‘down and dirty’ with the other kids. Lots of crying, screaming and yelling but I always wanted to go back for more. Because I also laughed, and I was happy and did not care who was watching (well, my mum in this case). All I cared about was to have fun with my friends. Period.
Growing up during puberty, oh boy those were some tough years, weren’t they? Especially, those teenage years all I wanted to be with was my girl-friends. I did not care to be with my parents, or relatives (ugh) or anyone else. My best friends were my family. When we were not together, we would be on the phone for hours! We would always be there for each other and trying to solve another boys-related drama, of course. And life was simple and most important, real.
I was lucky enough to have met wonderful people in my life and call them my best friends, at the time and some until now. Not everyone sticks around, which is completely normal and expected to happen. As we grow up and become adults, and start shaping the path to our lives, people change direction and as result we lose touch. But then we meet more people or old friends might come back to our life after years. Some of them might not be the right people for us, but that’s okay. We cannot agree and vibe with everyone. Just let them go. Maybe the timing is not right.
I am feeling very blessed and lucky for the people I have in my life and I have the privilege to call them my friends. The real friend will accept you for who you are, will support you and will challenge you to become the best version of yourself. I believe we all see parts of ourselves in other people. And when that happens we feel comfortable, we want to be around them and we become friends.
There will be times that even with your best friend you will feel disconnected, that something is not right because you might be experiencing life in different terms. And you might not want to be around them for a while. You know what? That’s okay, too. The real friend will understand and be there for you when you are ready to come back. Just be honest and let them know. And when you come back it will be a celebration for all.
I have always been this person who has a few friends, not too many. I have never been the person who knows one million people and is hanging out in hundreds social circles. The constant need to be with a lot of people to make ourselves feel important to me sounds more of a cry for help than being social. Which in that case, a group therapy session might be more helpful. By no means, I am not judging, at the end of the day whatever works.