Dating a sociopath is debilitating

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In an effort to survive the COVID-19 reality, I will share a dating story that happened a few years ago, which will hopefully take your mind of of bad thoughts. I am sure there will be women who will relate.

How it all started

I met him at a pub, somewhere in London. It was this pub that I would go with my colleagues after work for some drinks to unwind after a long day. He immediately caught my eye, and kept staring at me for the whole evening until I went to the WC and he followed me. When I got out of the WC, I saw him waiting for me there. He smiled, told me how beautiful I was and offered to buy me a drink. Little did I know, I have accepted this drink.

He was handsome, smart, charismatic, smooth talker, and I would say quite the story teller. I was immediately drawn by his seductive energy, his non-stop compliments, his exciting life stories and how much he cares about the world and wants to make a difference. I thought to myself, if this guy is for real, I just hit the jackpot. Hmm…I sure hit something, but it was not the jackpot. As it turns out, I had hit an iceberg (soul-deadly), but at the time I could only see the tip of it. And I admit it looked very cute and handsome.

The paranoia

And so it begins, a series of paranoid communication and dates where one day he could not wait to see me and would miss me and he would be all over me. And the next day he would not answer the phone and disappear for a week. And then a week later he would start looking for me as if we never stopped talking. He would start of by being very nice, sweet, polite and gentle but if he couldn’t get his way and I would deny seeing him, he would become very demanding, persistent and a bit aggressive. And this behaviour would just carry on for months, until I have realised that I hadn’t had a normal, simple date with him without any drama or paranoia involved.

One day he asked me to go to his place and hag out. Hmm…if I only knew what was in the cards for me. When I arrived, he was already at the pub drinking with his friends. He grabbed me and kissed me, but instead of feeling the passion, I felt anger coming from him. I immediately felt uncomfortable, and tried to push him away and that would make him even more angry and aggressive. Later, we were standing outside his house and there was some tension because I was annoyed by his behaviour, then all of a sudden he got in the building, shut the door to my face and went upstairs. I stood there for a few seconds and thought to myself: What just happened??

Too much for my soul

Well, that was it for me, I saw the whole iceberg, and no amount of ‘I am sorry’ texting or calls would make it better. It turns out that specific behaviour was triggered by heavy drinking and drug abuse. A person like this will come back after years, looking for you as if nothing has happened, and start telling you how much they want to be with you, have kids with you and live in a beautiful house by the ocean. They will become possessive and act jealous. And later on they will disappear again for weeks or months, maybe. And if you decide to do all these things with them and be with them, your life will probably be a rollercoaster of feelings of uncertainty and manipulation.

Some people might mean well, I don’t know, but this is too much for my soul. No, thank you.

Stay safe. x

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